| Minorityyyfck |
This is boodgemusic18@aol.com |
| WebMD: |
Why hello, minority. Please state your problem. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
It's pretty simple, really. I'm f****** obsessed with Green Day! |
| WebMD: |
This is pretty serious... |
| Minorityyyfck: |
No kidding. |
| WebMD: |
Have you considered staying away from any melodic noises above 120 dB? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Hell no. |
| WebMD: |
Hmmm... you may have a serious case of "insomnia" |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Shit! |
| WebMD: |
Yea, that's right. But stay away from foul language or I will be forced to kick your ass of your Internet browser. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
How can you be sure that I have a serious case of Insomniac? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I mean "insomnia!" |
| WebMD: |
Ok, I'll run a simple online test. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Ok, but stay away from my web browser... |
| WebMD: |
Just repeat after me... |
| WebMD: |
Fill in the blanks. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Ok... |
| WebMD: |
I pledge allegiance |
| Minorityyyfck: |
to the underworld |
| WebMD: |
one nation, |
| Minorityyyfck: |
under dog! |
| WebMD: |
My god, it's true! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
WHAT!!???? |
| WebMD: |
You have GREENDAYITIS! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
SHIT! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
How can you be so sure? |
| WebMD: |
Well, let me ask you a few questions... |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Ok, but this better be quick. |
| WebMD: |
First of all, have you ever had a strange urgency to join Green Day's exclusive "Idiot Club" |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I'm a member. |
| WebMD: |
Hmm... how much did you pay to join? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Quite a bit more than the required twenty bucks. |
| WebMD: |
Don't tell me that! What do I look like, a f******** financial advisor? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
No, but... |
| WebMD: |
Next question; who did you elect in the 2000 presidential election? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Billy Joe Armstrong |
| WebMD: |
mmhmm... I'm sure of it now. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
My god... what are the symptoms? |
| WebMD: |
First, you will become redundant... |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I am not redundant! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I am not redundant! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I am not redundant! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
I am not redundant! |
| WebMD: |
Yes, I see. |
| WebMD: |
You may begin to believe canines will take over the world... |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Okay, so maybe my friends are right when they say I'm crazy because I make sure I keep Rex locked in the closet... |
| WebMD: |
And after that, things will get much worse |
| Minorityyyfck: |
NO!!! |
| WebMD: |
You will lock yourself up in your room... your music speakers will be sounding at full blast. Slowly, as the Green Day music sinks in, your brain will melt. This will result in Brain Stew, otherwise known as becoming Jaded. |
| Minorityyyfck: |
No-ohhhh!! My eyes feel like they are gonna bleed! |
| WebMD: |
Are they dried up and bulging out your skull? |
| Minorityyyfck: |
YES!... senses dulled... face numb... |
| WebMD: |
it's starting to kick in now! Remember, I warned you! |
| Minorityyyfck: |
Warning: live... without... |
| WebMD: |
*sigh* |
| WebMD: |
He's gone. |
| |
THIS SCRIPT WRITTEN BY BEN KIRSCH
A PROUD LEPER OF GREENDAYITIS |
